Just WOW! It's time to talk.

Hey whats up? I hope everyone who is reading this, is having a good day. If your not, cheer up because life is good even when you can't always see it.  I know this quite a departure from the usual postings of this blog but sometimes I gotta throw caution to the wind. Let my reader know a little bit about me. Today I received an amazing message from a mother who had seen my blog through PBteen's Facebook. We shall call her J.J. Her son has been the brunt of some bullying. However he has grown and dealt with being bullied with some real class. He's made some knew friends and knows they are his friends and doesn't let his bully get him down. I can often be a little insecure about my own work and it was really nice to receive a little insurance that I was doing a good job.

J.J's  cousin's son God Rest his soul took his own life due to bullying, No one knew it was that bad. That is something you hear far to often from those left in the wake. When your being bullied, you learn to wear masks. I always had the biggest forced smile on my face but not to many knew just how much I was hurting. Because everything seemed alright.

I got to a point where, I didn't want to exist. I wanted it all to stop the voices of self-doubt, the constant loop of taunts and jeers from my so called peers that bounced around my head late at night. I wanted the dark and the hurt to just stop. I got so far down that road I set a date for my own self-execution when I was eighteen. I realized I'd gotten to the point where I was no longer thinking about taking my life, I was going to do it.

At that point, I realized I had to grow a pair of balls and talk to somebody that had been around the block a few times not another kid to confide in. I had set all my pride and fears of being rejected for being seen as a wimp off to the side and just talk. I ended up talking to the new principal of high school. He actually was in the admissions department as an accountant and the first person I ever met at the school. I probably never told him every thing in high definition detail but I talked with him a lot and that really helped ground me and gave me something to reach out and grab on to when things got to dark.

Communication is one of the most basic and important life skills a person could have. Learning to really communicate and have deep conversation really helps you out in life. You discover things about yourself and stuff about those your talking to. You'll often discover the advice you were not really asking for or looking for but know it'll come in handy. Don't get stuck in the dark find a mentor to talk to. It  doesn't always have to be mom or dad, it could be a sports coach, teacher, a church pastor or elder but it has to be someone you know you can trust and that your safe with. I've even had a few meaningful talks with local police officers and FireFighters at the local station.

Anyways it's long past a Hutch's bedtime so I'm going now G'night folks.
Feel free to leave a comment.

Cyber bullying is for losers

We live in a 21st century world, right? no really we are in the 21st century, I think. I've only been around for 23 years and can't say I've seen to many centuries. Sorry lost track, not my fault! Get a calendar. All thats to say the face of bullying has evolved, while truthfully we as human being are kind of the same stupid species we have been since the dawn of time. I'm not an evolutionist ( That is a story for another day folks) but I promise I will share it in the future.

The thing with cyber bullying is, it's constant. Unlike playground and school bullies this follows you home. You should never let one bad apple spoil the bunch and thats exactly what cyber bullying is a bad apple, you can't let it spoil you daily internet romps. You really have sit back and laugh at cyber bullies. As far as bullies go, cyber bullies have no balls because they can't do it to your face. Do you know what that means? You are stronger than they are and they know it. So they are cowering behind the iron curtain of the internet to make fun of you and thinking it makes them a tough guy. It's a lot like a guy who spends all his time playing snowboard video games, thinking that makes him pro on all things snowboarding while being to scared to actually you know, snowboard. Kinda silly isn't it?

There are a lot of things you can do to deal with cyber bullying. I have to admit, I've cyber bullied some of my own cyber bullies back when I was young. It's not something I'm proud of. I was probably far more cruel back than they ever were to me. Don't Bully them back, that isn't standing up for yourself. That is called being a bully. Here are some positive things.

1. If your being cyber bullied over email block the person. When it comes to emails share your email with your friends and don't bother reading emails from people who are not in your contact list. This effectively eliminates school bullies from messing with you at home. It's also a very good practice in general.

2.  Having trouble in an online community, find a new one or if your feeling ambitious create your own. Than you can moderate who is in the community and who isn't. This really helped me back in the days of MSN groups. ( MSN groups are for old guys like me. It was Facebook's great great grandfather and Dinosaurs walked the earth). I learned a lot about networking, marketing and promotion. Skills to last a life time.

3. Make them look stupid, this really rattles their cages and it's kind of fun to watch them scramble. read everything they say. If they call you stupid find something they said that was stupid. Your paying attention to important details, retaining information, following your sources these are some things that will carry you a long way in school.

Always remember just how stupid Cyber Bullying and Cyber Bullies are and you'll be fine.

-H

Sometimes it's You

I know, I know bullying is something bullies do but sometimes it's you. Sometimes you have to sit back and take a good look at yourself. Because you may just be guilty of doing things that really cause people to bully you.

Maybe you are a little arrogant without realizing it. You outwardly show people you believe you are far more important than they are. It's crazy but this is very possible despite being bullied and having low self-confidence.

Maybe you brag a lot about your new toys that are better than other peoples. Some of these things leave people feeling devalued and like they are worth less and they last out against you. Simply because kids are cruel and can't quite make the links which adults can. In the adult world those actions result in co-working being civil to you when required but often see to it they don't invite you to functions that are not on the company dime.

On the flip side, you may not be getting bullied but maybe your just getting excluded from things because your shy or quiet and often have never asked to be included. When I was in early grade school this was the case for me. I was excluded from most things because I was quiet and never asked to play with the other children. They just thought I preferred to play a lone.

So take a good look at yourself maybe you are doing something that has contributed to your own bullying without you really knowing about it.