Just WOW! It's time to talk.

Hey whats up? I hope everyone who is reading this, is having a good day. If your not, cheer up because life is good even when you can't always see it.  I know this quite a departure from the usual postings of this blog but sometimes I gotta throw caution to the wind. Let my reader know a little bit about me. Today I received an amazing message from a mother who had seen my blog through PBteen's Facebook. We shall call her J.J. Her son has been the brunt of some bullying. However he has grown and dealt with being bullied with some real class. He's made some knew friends and knows they are his friends and doesn't let his bully get him down. I can often be a little insecure about my own work and it was really nice to receive a little insurance that I was doing a good job.

J.J's  cousin's son God Rest his soul took his own life due to bullying, No one knew it was that bad. That is something you hear far to often from those left in the wake. When your being bullied, you learn to wear masks. I always had the biggest forced smile on my face but not to many knew just how much I was hurting. Because everything seemed alright.

I got to a point where, I didn't want to exist. I wanted it all to stop the voices of self-doubt, the constant loop of taunts and jeers from my so called peers that bounced around my head late at night. I wanted the dark and the hurt to just stop. I got so far down that road I set a date for my own self-execution when I was eighteen. I realized I'd gotten to the point where I was no longer thinking about taking my life, I was going to do it.

At that point, I realized I had to grow a pair of balls and talk to somebody that had been around the block a few times not another kid to confide in. I had set all my pride and fears of being rejected for being seen as a wimp off to the side and just talk. I ended up talking to the new principal of high school. He actually was in the admissions department as an accountant and the first person I ever met at the school. I probably never told him every thing in high definition detail but I talked with him a lot and that really helped ground me and gave me something to reach out and grab on to when things got to dark.

Communication is one of the most basic and important life skills a person could have. Learning to really communicate and have deep conversation really helps you out in life. You discover things about yourself and stuff about those your talking to. You'll often discover the advice you were not really asking for or looking for but know it'll come in handy. Don't get stuck in the dark find a mentor to talk to. It  doesn't always have to be mom or dad, it could be a sports coach, teacher, a church pastor or elder but it has to be someone you know you can trust and that your safe with. I've even had a few meaningful talks with local police officers and FireFighters at the local station.

Anyways it's long past a Hutch's bedtime so I'm going now G'night folks.
Feel free to leave a comment.

Cyber bullying is for losers

We live in a 21st century world, right? no really we are in the 21st century, I think. I've only been around for 23 years and can't say I've seen to many centuries. Sorry lost track, not my fault! Get a calendar. All thats to say the face of bullying has evolved, while truthfully we as human being are kind of the same stupid species we have been since the dawn of time. I'm not an evolutionist ( That is a story for another day folks) but I promise I will share it in the future.

The thing with cyber bullying is, it's constant. Unlike playground and school bullies this follows you home. You should never let one bad apple spoil the bunch and thats exactly what cyber bullying is a bad apple, you can't let it spoil you daily internet romps. You really have sit back and laugh at cyber bullies. As far as bullies go, cyber bullies have no balls because they can't do it to your face. Do you know what that means? You are stronger than they are and they know it. So they are cowering behind the iron curtain of the internet to make fun of you and thinking it makes them a tough guy. It's a lot like a guy who spends all his time playing snowboard video games, thinking that makes him pro on all things snowboarding while being to scared to actually you know, snowboard. Kinda silly isn't it?

There are a lot of things you can do to deal with cyber bullying. I have to admit, I've cyber bullied some of my own cyber bullies back when I was young. It's not something I'm proud of. I was probably far more cruel back than they ever were to me. Don't Bully them back, that isn't standing up for yourself. That is called being a bully. Here are some positive things.

1. If your being cyber bullied over email block the person. When it comes to emails share your email with your friends and don't bother reading emails from people who are not in your contact list. This effectively eliminates school bullies from messing with you at home. It's also a very good practice in general.

2.  Having trouble in an online community, find a new one or if your feeling ambitious create your own. Than you can moderate who is in the community and who isn't. This really helped me back in the days of MSN groups. ( MSN groups are for old guys like me. It was Facebook's great great grandfather and Dinosaurs walked the earth). I learned a lot about networking, marketing and promotion. Skills to last a life time.

3. Make them look stupid, this really rattles their cages and it's kind of fun to watch them scramble. read everything they say. If they call you stupid find something they said that was stupid. Your paying attention to important details, retaining information, following your sources these are some things that will carry you a long way in school.

Always remember just how stupid Cyber Bullying and Cyber Bullies are and you'll be fine.

-H

Sometimes it's You

I know, I know bullying is something bullies do but sometimes it's you. Sometimes you have to sit back and take a good look at yourself. Because you may just be guilty of doing things that really cause people to bully you.

Maybe you are a little arrogant without realizing it. You outwardly show people you believe you are far more important than they are. It's crazy but this is very possible despite being bullied and having low self-confidence.

Maybe you brag a lot about your new toys that are better than other peoples. Some of these things leave people feeling devalued and like they are worth less and they last out against you. Simply because kids are cruel and can't quite make the links which adults can. In the adult world those actions result in co-working being civil to you when required but often see to it they don't invite you to functions that are not on the company dime.

On the flip side, you may not be getting bullied but maybe your just getting excluded from things because your shy or quiet and often have never asked to be included. When I was in early grade school this was the case for me. I was excluded from most things because I was quiet and never asked to play with the other children. They just thought I preferred to play a lone.

So take a good look at yourself maybe you are doing something that has contributed to your own bullying without you really knowing about it.

The List of Ten

Sometimes being bullied can lead you to very dark places. Can make you feel like your all alone and nobody cares. Actually come to think of it sometimes Life in general can leave you feeling like that.  I found myself in this position several times. A place so dark, you consider taking yourself out of the equation. Putting yourself down ending your own life. I've been there, one night I wrote a list of ten.

A list of ten things I loved about life. I was probably fifteen so the list probably had things like Listening to Music, Playing Gameboy and things of that nature. I couldn't do any of these things ever again if I knocked myself off. Essentially I gave myself some reason to stick around. Try writing a list of ten things you love about life and start creating reasons to stick around. You begin to find a lot of things out about yourself

Over the years these lists have played a part in my life. Something that started out of negativity turned into positivity. 10 Things I want to accomplish this year, The ten places I want to visit most, 10 things I want to learn and the list of lists goes on

Next time your in a rut folks try making a list.

I don't Fit In

By nature we crave fitting it, we all want to feel like we belong. In grade school that often can be a tall order; especially when your frequently being bullied. I had quite a lot of trouble fitting in at school. There were quite a few days where I ate my lunches alone. 

What really helped me with this feeling of being alone and not fitting in was being involved on sports teams.  Not only did I discover some sports I was good at, I made a few after school friends and got a good work out; I found a place where I belonged. 

Maybe your not really an athletic person, there are so many clubs and groups for young people to join. Ask your parents about joining a program with the local boys and girls club in your area. You can meet some new kids and have a place to hang out.

Maybe your an outdoors person there are so many opportunities for friendships and new skills offered through Scouting troops. There are countless programs for older kids offered by your countries arms forces in the form of Cadet programs or JROTCs the options are endless.

I know trying something new like that is scary. I remember my first year playing baseball, I was nine. I grew up on the ice rink and never had anything to do during the spring and summer. I always liked baseball and I did have an arm on me. My dad signed me up and I was so scared to go. Needless to say by the end of the summer I had some new friends and it was the best summer I ever had. I ended up playing for nearly 10 years and those were summer of the best summers of my life.

If you don't fit in at school, give it time and start looking for a club or a sport team and find a spot to fit in.

P.S

If your reading this blog....feel free to leave a comment. I love to get feed back and it'll definitely help steer this project. Maybe there is a problem that your facing with bullying that made I could give my opinion on and it might just help other people as well.

See you all around Next week for a new tip.

-H

Getting Made Fun Of.......Then Do It RIGHT BACK!

I'm a realist. growing up, you are going to be made fun of at some point in your life. You'll later go on to be made fun of sometimes as an adult. Thankfully adults have a little something called tact, usually. Since you'll most likely be made fun of by somebody you don't like and it might sting at times, you might as well learn how to deal. Being made fun of is supposed to be harmless by nature. Think about it, you've probably made fun of your little dorky brother and he's made fun of you.  I noticed this when I was around fifteen. When it came to being made fun of, it wasn't so much being made fun of that got to me. It was when people who bullied me did it.

Bullies always seek some kind of reaction. Normally an expected reaction, Bullies expect you to cry or be upset; They do not expect the unexpected. I decided, to play this in my favor, give them a reaction they were not expecting. I learned to make fun of myself.  When they made fun of me, I did it right back.....I Made Fun Of Myself.

Making fun of yourself does a few things with bullies they get bored because they are not causing the reactions they want and bugger off or they start to laugh which is all fine and dandy because it's healthy, you've contributed to their longevity.

However this also effects you, you begin to find out the very things about yourself that your making fun of are things you actually kind of like.  You find yourself not caring what people think about them because you like them. When your able to make fun of yourself and have fun doing it. When other people do it you just see is as pointless fun and when there really bad at it, you find them tasteless.

So next time you get made fun of, trying making fun of yourself right back.
- H

Why

Name: Hutch
Stereotype: NO
Victim: YES
Status: Survivor





This is a project I have been fighting with myself over for quite sometime. Should I Do It? Why Should I Do It? No I Shouldn't Do it? the list goes on. Since you are reading this, my choice to do this has been made obvious.  I'm doing this because I can. I'm doing this because I don't like aspects of whats out there and I'm doing this, Because I've been there and I've survived.

I Hutch was bullied not just by my classmates but those in authority. I said I did not agree with a lot of the current projects geared toward bullying and it's truth. Right now if you honestly paid attention to the ones you here about are largely LGBT centric. It's as if only people within the LGBT community will suffer bullying of some sort in school. The truth is everyone can be bullied but not everyone does get bullied.  I have a problem with " It Gets Better" not so much the organization but it's name, it's very wait and see and not very PRO-ACTIVE and I'm not referring to the pimple cream you've got stashed away in your underwear drawer.

There are a lot of movements to END bullying, I've pitched my own bits toward some of these small uprisings on youtube. However you never here anything about how to deal with being bullied and how to deal with bullies when your the one being bullied. So I'll be that one who talks about how to deal with being bullied, how to handle it. Because I've been there. Consider this if you will " Hutch's DeClassified Bullies Survival Guide". I'm no psychologist but if you give me a chance and take me on, I'll give you my TIPS the things that really worked for me and helped me get to where I am.